The art of living

Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not.

Sharon Lebell’s 144-page interpretation (not translation, she points it out) of Epictetus brings afresh perennial principles for finding meaning and living a virtuous life. This was not in my initial reading list, but I read it through in one sitting yesterday (and I am always finding out new and interesting material, so I may be throwing in some new titles).

Having been the philosophical instructor of Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus himself was born and lived for a long time as a slave, what shows the true democratic, or maybe non-political and non-historical nature of the basic principles to happiness: by the right interpretation of phenomena, non-attachment to results and correct use of the power of will, human soul has within itself enough elements to create serenity, peace and virtuous habits. The eternal Delphic “know thyself” rings forever true and surely it is good (and necessary) to be reminded continuously of that message.

This was my first contact with famous Phrygian-Roman author, but his simple, straightforward, unambiguous, positive and down-to-earth approach to psychological and existential subjects, conjugated with the smooth, contemporary style delivered by the author made me really feel like reading more.

The soft persuasion of Dale Carnegie

“There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it.”

In a world of cut-throat competition and war, Dale Carnegie proposed the rediscovery of soft-strategy as a means of power and influence in a personal level. His ‘How to make friends and influence people‘ (1936) builds upon some basic principles of human behavior, the main one being that a positive stimulus gets positive response. A classic and constant reference in its genre, it still stands its ground as a best-seller and a very influential book in general.

On the basic assumption that human beings thrive on praise and on good feelings, Carnegie present a series of estrategies to persuade people to come around to your points of view and get them to do what you want them to; by encouraging, smiling, approaching friendly, listening, controlling your own aggressive impulses, avoiding direct confrontation and refraining from pointing out mistakes harshly one supposedly will manage to use people’s highest standards and noble motives (the ones they feel obliged to live up to) to pave the way to agreement and mutual benefit.

However, contrary to what one might think, Carnegie does not want to instigate artificiality or pretense. He believes that cordiality, soft-management and focus on one’s interlocutor’s points of view evoke a kind of natural law which, once applied, can bring an overall improvement in human relations on a professional and even ethical level and will grant, to the one who consciously makes use of it, the double power of influence and friendship.

The book is mostly based on empirical (sometimes downright anecdotal) evidence obtained by the author himself in the exercise of his profession: having been a very successful public speaker, a salesman and having conducted educational courses for business and professional men, Carnegie had the opportunity to interact and learn his principles from many important personalities like statesman Franklin Roosevelt and famous actor Clark Gable. So the rules of his book would not stem from ‘mere theories or guesswork’ as they supposedly ‘work like magic’.

Many other self-help books–some of them way more theoretically sophisticated than the present one–would later on reproduce this same ‘magical’ promise in different tones and colors. However, this particular classic stood the test of time and apparently is still believed by many as an efficient and honest way to attain its goals.

While reading ‘How to make friends’ one cannot but suspect that by using such techniques ostensibly in today’s world one risks coming across as unassertive or fundamentally weak. More recent best-selling authors like Robert Greene, and his famous ’48 Laws of Power’, for instance, shows many different approaches and strategies used to gain influence throughout history: Carnegie’s soft-strategy offers only one among many possibilities, several of them also perfectly ethical.

I’m afraid there must be some fans out there who would vehemently disagree, but, after all, the book is a nice manual for friendship and etiquette, and one which is even a little dusty now. You may still find there insightful wisdom and psychological guidance, but there is no magic involved, of course. If you are neither in search of scientifically-grounded theories or sophisticated philosophical ideas, it’s a smooth ride, you just have to take Carnegie as that old good experienced relative or Sunday school teacher who gives you useful pieces of advice about life and success.

Strunk and The Elements of Style

“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.”

It is very hard to add any information about “the little book” — a widely known reference — without writing both too much and too little. Too much because Strunk —a man with “self-confidence” according to the famous American essayist E.B. White — warns prophetically: “omit needless words” and also “make definite assertions”; and when he says it, we feel compelled to obey. It is not only about making it short, but about making it count: conciseness is also a rhetorical weapon. Too little, because the book is invaluable and tempts us to go against its very advice and dedicate some prolix poetical lines about its saving power: it does save one from the “dark wood” —wild, rough and stubborn— in which the straight way is lost, in the middle of the journey of our writing life. Strunk is no Virgil, though. He is no poet. But you can approach his book with hope, and, even though quite “old,” it is still a precious resource of guidance to which one returns again and again.